Hey kids don’t grow up, no really don’t grow up

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I started this post when I was at work one day, while I was supposed to be at a golf tournament. So it comes from a place of bitterness I will admit. And I am just getting around to finishing it now, because…well life sucks.

I am currently sitting in my office, when I am supposed to be playing a golf tournament, enjoying the almost perfect weather and probably being a beer or two too deep. But instead I am stuck in my windowless office working away. To make the matters worst the rest of the office (that isn’t out on summer vacation) is drinking.

See, 27 is coming up fast for me and I have realized that I have made a big mistake, I didn’t ‘waste’ any years of my 20’s. Nope like a sucker I did all those things I was supposed to do and where did that get me? A quick ticket to the hamster wheel, that’s where.

I went to university and picked up a degree in four years, and a second one in another three for good measure, all the while working and doing all those extra curricular things you are supposed to do that look good on resumes and “get you ahead”. And don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun going it, I always found time for Thirsty Thursday’s, Sunday Fundays and every party in between.

But I never took time off to travel for a year or “find myself”. I wanted to get on the fasflane to success and stay there.

To make matters worse, I have pretty much got there too. Sure I could be making a little more money, have a little more power etc., but for the most part I have accomplished to date what I set out to do. I even like what I do for my job for the most part. The problemis, I am stuck doing it for the next 30 years, it comes with responsibilities, that I can’t just walk away from. As does my house, my mortgage and everything else.

By by the the time I was 25, I was pretty much married to the rest of my life. I have spent the last two years realizing that I have made commitments in life that have made it almost impossible for me to “get away”, unless I want to get labelled as the crazy guy who burned out and ended up at a surf lodge in Nicaragua. And that may still happen, one day I may just give it all up and be hanging loose on a beach in Nicuragua.

Until then, I have the Pats game tomorrow to look forward to tomorrow, and the rest of the football season to hopefully get me through the fall. And then I will have golf seasons to look forward to (if I can even get out of the office).

But to all you guys and girls in your early 20’s or younger, I say don’t be in too much of rush, enjoy the lack off responsibility while you have it.

-Squire

 

 

Did Donald Trump just have his best tweet ever?

This tweet from Donal Trump is just peak Trump! It manages to perfectly capture his arrogance, his vanity and his racism all in one tweet.

It’s Cinco De Mayo, he has to tweet about it and he has to remind people that he is NOT a racist! So naturally he finishes with I love Hispanics, boom golden!

And obviously the best taco bowls (pretty sure that is not a traditional dish) are made by something with the Trump name on it!

Please try and find me a better tweet from the Donald, you can’t.

@HardNoSquire

Question of the Day: How much was this basketball player paid to fix this game in the Greek league?

How much was this player paid to fix the game?

Former Arizona State player Jermaine Marshall tied up this quarterfinal Greek league game by scoring on his own basket, as time expired.

Seriously!? Sure mental lapses happen, but it is the end of the game, a playoff game too boot. You suddenly forgot which basket was yours as time expired? No, the explanation I can come up with is Jermaine suddenly realized he was about to have a couple broken knee caps and the only thing he could do is take matters into his own hands. Jermaine’s team Kifisia lost in overtime, 108-103, no shit, no way they were coming back from that.

Though from what I have seen from Greek league basketball fans, I am not sure he was any safer…

Women’s World Hockey Championship: Salt being Salt

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Emergency Update from the Women’s World Hockey Championship

So on a whim Salt and I decided to head up to the Women’s World Hockey Championship in Kamloops to check out the action and catch up with some old friends.Last night we got some good old Canada vs. U.S.A. hockey action. Salt being Salt decided to throw on a blue jersey, tell everyone that he was from Michigan and cheer on the old Red, White and Blue. That’s fine with me, if Salt wants to show absolute no patriotism and cheer on our nation’s biggest rivals, that is his problem. What transpired next though is typical Salt, yet still unbelievable.

After getting well lubricated at a bar next to the arena, we headed over to the game but had to stop outside, so Salt could participate in the kids shooting games outside the arena. The girl running the games told us “adults can play to”, and then may have confused Salt for being specials needs, as she told me and our other buddy that we were “really good friends”.

Salt then proceeded to wildly cheer for the U.S. for the first two periods while drawing the ire of every fan in the lower bowl.During the intermission, he also found more contests to participate in and more fans to regale with stories from his “Michigan State days”.

It was during the 2nd intermission though that the real Salt came out, when he informed me that he was going to leave, because he was hungry and everyone was “against him and hated him”. The guy chooses to cheer for a country that is not his own and then after a couple slaps on the head from a thunderstick from a hockey mom and a couple boos his way, he is ready to pack up his bags and go home! I should have known it was coming, a typical Salt move, but yet it still shocked me. I ended up having to buy the guy a poutine just so he would finish the game with us. Yet he still continued to pout about being at the game, until the  U.S.A. made comeback win, which he wildly cheered, earning us the scorn of many.

The morale of this story is probably that traitors, have no spine and will crumble, while true patriots like myself always stand tall and would never let hunger or a few hockey moms get to us.

To make matters worse, I had Canada on the money line. :Love Canada to get revenge in the Championship Game though, going to bet them right now to win the tournament.

Gritty’s Mortal Lock of the Week — Week 1 (Redo)

Apparently I misunderstood the purpose of the mortal lock and the lock was not as mortal as I expected. As as a result, I am redoing my mortal lock of the week. Because I watch TV like a 60 year old man and don’t have Netflix, figuring out my punishment  has been hard. I still don’t think we have a punishment for me.

Nevertheless, it won’t matter because this is a mortal lock.

It’s March Madness time. We have to lock in some hoops picks.

This has been an upset crazy first couple of days of madness. Even the great Tom Izzo’s Michagan State Spartans were upset by a lowly 15 seed. With that in mind, I still want to look towards a proven coach and a team on the ascension.

I’m going with John Calipari and the good ol’ Kentucky Wildcats. This isn’t a Wildcats team from recent memory. They are not filled with one and done players. They do have a one and done guy though. Jamal Murray (CANADIAN) is one of the country’s best pure scorers who forms a dynamic backcourt with tiny guard Tyler Ulis.

They also have a real presence on the interior based on the game I watched them play against Stony Brook in the first round. The announcers told me that this team started out their season slow and are hitting their stride at the perfect time of the year. That’s all I need to hear.

I’ve got Kentucky and their giving 3.5 points to Indiana.

Question of the day: Who sweats more, Sean Miller of Marco Rubio?

Who sweats more, Sean Miller or Marco Rubio?

Last night everyone in America, was shocked by the literal buckets that Arizona coach Sean Miller was sweating. The guy was drenched, which brings us to our, question of the day, who is the bigger sweater in America, Sean Miller or the notorious sweater Marco Rubio.

Let’s roll some game film on the Coach Miller.

How did Miller even have that must water in him to sweat out? The guy must have lost at least 5lbs during the game. His players who were actually playing, the game, did not sweat half as much as he did, it literally boggles my mind.

Now the politician Rubio

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Rubio is a sweater there is no doubt about it, from debates to campaign speeches, the guy sweats away.And it is probably all this sweating that leads to dehydration and his infamous dry mouth issues.

But let’s be honest if not for Trump constantly blasting Rubio for his sweating, most of us would hardly notice Rubio’s sweating and just think the top of his head was a little extra shiny in those debates.

Miller on the other hand looked like he had had a shower in his clothes last night, and for that reason I have to go with Sean Miller as the biggest sweater in America.

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Congrats Coach, at least you won something last night. And ouch perhaps I should have gone Rubio, let the guy win something, he can’t even win Florida for fuck sakes. Poor Marco.

 

Question of the Day: Does Canada Like Gregg Zaun?

Well, happy St. Patrick’s Day Canada.

You know what America gets? March Madness.

You know Canada gets? Gregg Zaun co-hosting @timandsid. In a #greensuit. Kill me and get him a stylist.

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Tim is in Vancouver to cover the CIS National Basketball Championship. So, Canadians get Gregg Zaun filling in. We here at Hard No Sports think the nation is poorer for it.

If you don’t know who the #manalyst is. Here. Have a look. If you do, have a look anyway.

 

I know this video is old. But the fact he’s on national television today led me to write a letter to the #Manalyst himself.

Dear Mr. #Manalyst,

You just called out a young man who you think weighs about 125 pounds and told him he should be watching his back. Amongst other things,  you then advised that the young man not “puff his chest out and challenge a grown man via twitter and erase the tweets. Go knock on the Jay’s clubhouse door and do it like a man if you feel that strongly. Stop acting like Tommy tough guy while hiding behind the internet”.

Mr. #Manalyst it’s at this time I feel the need to point out a few glaringly obvious facts concerning your verbal letter. While you were addressing Mr. Ventura you were ‘hiding’ behind a T.V. screen. In fact, your chest looks rather ‘puffed’ in the video above. Your suit even looks a little tight around the biceps.  Needed to make sure you looked nice and puffed up as well, bro? Are you not addressing Mr. Ventura from the safety of your studio set inside the Jay’s stadium? I think the Kansas City Royals have a clubhouse as well. Should you not have gone and knocked on their door? A little hypocritical don’t you think, #Mr. Manalyst?

And no Mr. #Manalyst, giving Mr. Ventura your seat and section numbers as you sign off neither makes you look tough nor does it fool anyone with half a brain into thinking you’re willing to get behind your words and fight a current professional athlete. Mr. Ventura is currently making an average of $4.6 million per year. He’s not going to come see you in your section, during a game in which he has to put on a uniform for, to fight you. Mr. Ventura also happened to be a part of the team that won the World Series last year. In case you forgot.

I would like  to thank you for pointing out Mr. Bautista’s numbers Mr. #Manalyst. Myself, as a viewer, was unaware that Mr. Bautista generally allowed his bat to do his talking for him. In fact, I had no idea he generally excels at it.  Thank you for enlightening me, a Canadian viewer. I also don’t think Mr. Bautista needs a babysitter. Do you Mr. #Manalyst?

These were two current professional athletes who happened to not like each other very much at the time. They could sort it out just fine, you know, on the field, where the athletes play. You don’t play anymore, you do realize that don’t you, Mr. #Manalyst?

And finally Mr. #Manalyst, I am acutely aware that I am not a professional athlete. I am also acutely aware I am sitting at a desk, using my keyboard, my fingers, and my brain to articulate an opinion. Not all of us can be athletes Mr. #Manalyst. So we develop other muscles. For instance, the aforementioned muscle, the brain. You should try it some time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. And please, do stop being an asshole on national Canadian television. You make the rest of us look bad.

Yours truly,

Salt.

Here’s Zaun’s career numbers if anybody cares. I’m sure if he gets fired up about this they will become relevant. I just don’t give a shit. He won the World Series once as well. We will certainly be hearing about that.

And here’s a bonus video of Zaun calling kids knuckleheads:

Look at that suit pull at the end of the video. What an asshole.

So nation, today we ask the question, does Canada like Gregg Zaun? I think my stance is pretty clear. But I am more than willing to in the minority on this one. 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

-Salt. (@hardnosalt)

Question of the Day: Who is the Worst District Attorney, Kratz or Nifong?

Who is the worst, District Attorney, Ken Kratz or Mike Nifong?

A couple months a go, the Netflix show, Making a Murderer shocked America with how wrong the justice system can seem to go. Then just a few days ago the ESPN 30 for 30, Fantastic Lies, on the Duke lacrosse scandal came out, and once again America was horrified by how how far awry the justice system can go. What did these two shows have in common? Among other things repulsive District Attorneys who made our skin crawl.

Ken Kratz

Kratz was the District Attorney in Steven Avery’s case, in Making a Murderer.

As egregious as Kratz’s actions in the Avery case, may have been, it was probably the rail roading of Avery’s nephew Brendan Dassey that was was even more disturbing. We may not know if Steven Avery is guilty or not, but one thing that was clear was the events as confessed to by Dassey simply did not occur. It was absolutely heartbreaking to first watch a confession be coerced out of someone intellectually unable to defend themselves, and then to watch Kratz run this false confession all the way to a conviction.

Kratz is also a huge creep, as was evidenced by the sexting scandal, which cost him his District Attorney job in 2010. Where he was found to be sexting domestic violence victims, in the cases he was prosecuting.

I have a $350,000 house, has to be one of the worst lines ever… Also if you aren’t convinced he is a creep check out this interview he did after Making a Murderer.

Mike Nifong

Nifong was the District Attorney in the Duke lacrosse case. At the time the Duke lacrosse rape allegations came around he was badly behind in the polls for his reelection as District Attorney. Then along came the Duke lacrosse accuser and he jumped on the case and in front of every news camera he could, to the tune of 5o to 70 interviews in the first week. Nifong made outlandish, untrue and inflammatory statements, in these interviews which set the narrative for the case.

Nifong then proceeded to never actually interview the accuser, allow the use of photo lineups with only Duke lacrosse team members in them (the players were in a game of Russian roulette they never knew about), and ignored and withheld exculpatory DNA and circumstantial evidence. But he did manage to get himself re-elected. Ruining the lives of a few young men, in the process seemed to be just fine with him.

In the end, Nifong was found to have conspired with the director of the DNA lab to have withheld exculpatory DNA evidence from the report to the defence team. The case was thrown out, Nifong was sentenced to a day in jail and disbarred.

Conclusion

They are both awful human beings who should not have been in the positions they were in, but I am actually going to lean Kratz on this one only because somehow he is still a practing lawyer. If you need an immigration lawyer in Wisconsin give him a call. Even worse, Kratz actually isn’t embarrassed enough to just try and disappear, the guy is still giving interviews.

Two other questions I was left with were:

  1. How does America still think it is a good idea to elect judges and district attorney’s?
  2. When was it that innocent before proven guilty died?

 

Mortal Lock Week 1 – The Punishments

Tomorrow sees both Squire and I staring agony in the face. The punishments for the first week of our Mortal Lock picks has been set. I am afraid dear reader, very afraid.

Squire had to be a big man and took Zaga earlier in the week. At the time Squire didn’t know who Zaga would be playing. Squire was bold enough to take them on the spread. Tomorrow Gonzaga takes on Seaton Hall. If Zaga can’t cover the spread Squire will be heading off to a C list comedy act on Sunday night all by his lonesome. Squire is a pretty sulen and quite man. He doesn’t enjoy crowds or company. The idea he might have to attend this hour and a half event in a theatre full of people just warms my normally cold heart. Oh, and he’ll have to blog about it. So we might all be winners here.

I wasn’t quite as brave. I took the Penguins over the Hurricanes tomorrow night. No spread. No Lines. Just the Pens getting the W. The Hurricanes have been showing signs of life lately and Pittsburgh is without Malkin. Nothing is certain here. I’ll be live blogging the game tomorrow night. That should be interesting. If the Pens lose, Squire has decided I will be attending some sort of EDM Rap Battle at a local night club next week. I will be going alone. The nightclub draws huge numbers from the undergraduate programs in our town. I also don’t like crowds or a lot of people. Also, generally not a fan of EDM, at all. I will also have to blog about my experience. I think I’d rather eat a bowl of salt.

Gritty fucked the whole thing up. It was like trying to watch your parents play Call of Duty. It was almost impressive. Squire and I think he should have to pick another game that takes place before Sunday or just suffer a punishment for his actions. If anyone wants to weigh in on this, or what Gritty’s punishment should be, please, let us know. Or you can just tweet him. Call him a coward. Or a fool. Either one works.

Pray for Salt. Pray for no EDM. Pray for no rap battles. Lord knows I need it.

-Salt (@hardnosalt)

Can We All Agree God Does Not Belong on the Sports Field

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Last week I was surfing Twitter as I usually do when I have a couple of minutes, and I thought I must be hallucinating or at least dreaming, there seemed to be a number of people tweeting that the Broncos needed to bring back Tim Tebow. Now some of these tweets were in jest, but there was actually a large number of people who were very seriously pushing the idea.

Let’s be honest, there is only one reason so many people are desperately pushing the candidacy of a quarterback who last played in the NFL 3 seasons ago, GOD. These people want to believe that a quarterback can overcome the inability to throw a football anywhere near an NFL receiver, with Faith.

Please spare me the arguments that it is something other than Faith that drives the Tebow mania. There are plenty of other Heisman winners and college superstars that have not been able to cut it in the pros, and people have just moved on, and let them do autograph signings and open car dealerships for the rest of their lives. And don’t get me wrong I loved Tebow mania while it lasted. There was nothing better than Tebow/Chuck Norris jokes, but it is long past time to move on.

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This is not meant to be an attack on God or religion, it is just to point out that if there is a God somewhere out there, he probably has better things to worry about than making sure that Tim Tebow throws a couple TDs and wins on a Sunday. Whatever God you might believe in, don’t you hope that he is worried about more important things than the score of a game? If God wants to watch over and make sure no one gets seriously injured in a game, sure great, I am all for that, beyond that I truly hope, if he is out there, that he has better things to do.

Further don’t we want sports, to be settled on the field and not by destiny? I know we love to talk about teams of destiny, but at the end of the day why we play sports and love competition, is the pursuit of excellence in ourselves and the chance to best another man. Athletes train every day to make themselves the best the can be so they can go out there and try to beat the other guy, and I am pretty sure deep down that is what they want to do, beat the other guy, not have some high power beat the other guy for them.

Finally, sport also offers one the few places, in our world, that can act as a true melting pot, and bring people literally from every walk of life together. Your age, race, gender, socioeconomic status or religion do not matter when discussing sport, it is something we can all relate to in our own way. So could we please leave it that way and keep religion out of it?

As for the Tebow Crusaders please let it die, and perhaps move on to a crusade about something that actually matters, after all there is a brutal Islamic caliphate sweeping across the middle east right now.