Apparently I misunderstood the purpose of the mortal lock and the lock was not as mortal as I expected. As as a result, I am redoing my mortal lock of the week. Because I watch TV like a 60 year old man and don’t have Netflix, figuring out my punishment has been hard. I still don’t think we have a punishment for me.
Nevertheless, it won’t matter because this is a mortal lock.
It’s March Madness time. We have to lock in some hoops picks.
This has been an upset crazy first couple of days of madness. Even the great Tom Izzo’s Michagan State Spartans were upset by a lowly 15 seed. With that in mind, I still want to look towards a proven coach and a team on the ascension.
I’m going with John Calipari and the good ol’ Kentucky Wildcats. This isn’t a Wildcats team from recent memory. They are not filled with one and done players. They do have a one and done guy though. Jamal Murray (CANADIAN) is one of the country’s best pure scorers who forms a dynamic backcourt with tiny guard Tyler Ulis.
They also have a real presence on the interior based on the game I watched them play against Stony Brook in the first round. The announcers told me that this team started out their season slow and are hitting their stride at the perfect time of the year. That’s all I need to hear.
I’ve got Kentucky and their giving 3.5 points to Indiana.
Today is the day that will answer the question: will I be going to to an EDM/Rap Battle concert next week. Fuck.
Pens are starting Murray. Let’s take that as a sign of confidence. Kid has been really solid in his 6 previous starts. No need to play like a rookie tonight.
I have a grown up things to do at 3:30 so I might be a touch late getting home to start. Let’s hope we have some fun, shall we.
Well that does it. Lack makes a nice save with 3 seconds left but the game is over. Sid scored twice. I think Phil had some points. Murray shut the door after the 2 early goals. That was huge. Pittsburgh needs to look at that defense if they want to do anything in the playoffs, assuming they get there. Also please stop taking penalties below the opponents goal line.
Pens win their 4th. I don’t go to EDM/Rap Battle concert. And I won money for the house. It’s a good night. Now we just need a Zaga loss to send Squire to his punishment, and were all set.
- Just got home. 6 Minutes left in the first. Sid scored. Score is 2-1. Fuck.
- US Open trophy getting some TV time. Bad sign. Let’s not talk golf right now. Thanks.
- 2 on 0. Sure why not. Thanks for the save Murray. Closed the 7 hole quick. Good god.
- If Lack can keep bobbling rebounds like they’re hot potatoes that would be great. Also, how many times does Phil have to miss?
- Cullen is fancy.
- 2:09 left in the First and Rust takes a boarding call behind the Canes goal line. Right call on the play. Poor play by Rust.
- 1:04 left in on the PK for the pens. PK looks good. Keep the lanes closed and puck to the outside. Couple of nice passes left a Cane player open to snap a hard shot on Murray. Good save.
- One of the Golden Rules of hockey: No goals allowed in the final minute of a frame. Pens are 1:05 from getting out of this one.
- 15 Seconds out. Puck is dumped in and quickly out by Letang. Pens escape the PK unharmed.
- Penguins out shoot the Canes 22-14 but remain down 2-1. Fuck. Me. 40 miles left though. Here’s hoping.
Missed most of the first obviously. But the Pens out shooting the Canes 22-14 is a good sign. Lack can slow down. Very unlikely Pens stay on pace and put 66ish shots on net. Going to have a find a way through Lack and buckle down on the back end. Have a feeling Pens ran into a hot goalie tonight. Not good.
People bowling on the ice is strange to me.
- Pens win opening face-off and are offside 9 seconds later.
- Matta with a dump in on Lack holds for the face-off. Goalies must hate that play in the show this year.
- Solid save by Murray. Canes looked dangerous coming into the zone on that rush. please stawp.
- Sid is good at face-offs.
- Sid is good at sprawling around on the ice taking away the pass on a 2-1. There’s practically 2 periods left. No need to pinch that hard yet.
- Murray looks to be tracking the puck well tonight. Easily handled a shot from the point and put it into the corner.
- Phil losses a race to the puck in an offensive zone. Canes clear. The sky is blue.
- Sherri almost feathered a pass through to Fehr. No luck. Puck goes wide. Pens pressing now. Lack standing tall.
- Pens keep the pressure up. Canes forced to ice. The commentating crew is immersed in the fact the puck bounced off the dasher and went into the air. Let’s see how many times it comes up tonight.
- Pens seem happy to leavea a man alone in front of their net on every Carolina rush tonight. Oh look. There was just three of them and only Letang in front. This is an unsettling theme. Puck cleared. Somehow.
- Three Canes 2 Pens. Pens back check forces Skinner to take a bad angled shot from the outside. Murray handles it easily.
- Pens pressure again. Lack handles it well. Rebound in the slot wasn’t found by Pens.
- 12:30 left and we are headed for a commercial.
- Murray flashes the leather and finds a piece of candy. Kid is making saves to keep the Pens in this.
- Canes are cycling well here. 2 shifts in a row. Pens are out momentarily but generate nothing dangerous.
- Pens are line juggling. Always a good sign.
- 9:45 left and Pens still losing.
- We’re back. Puck has been outside the dots a lot tonight. Nothing dangerous happening.
- Murray stops the wrap around and stays square to the puck to swallow up the rebound.
- Phil can thank the Hockey Gods for this one. Great break out pass to Cole. Cole entered the zone, delayed and cut to the middle. He went for the shot in the middle of the slot, Cane defensemen got a stick on it, Haiglin was there to kick the arrant puck over to a streaking Phil. Phil managed to put it in the net. Lack was on the other side of the net still. Pens tie it up 2-2. #NOEDM.
- Murray makes another nice save.
- Stall and Rust are mad at each other. I think that’s about all that’s going to happen. Rust kept the gloves on. A lot of words not so many fists. Both go for 2. Pens commentators are calling for a spear. It’s more of an upwards slash. A lot of swooping motion in that stick. Refs got the 2 minutes right.
- 4 on 4 now. Pens should have the advantage here. Sure enough Canes are cycling at will in the Pittsburgh zone.
- Phil all alone in the slot aaaaand misses the net.
- Pens are keeping up the pressure here. Pens take another penalty in the offensive zone. This is good.
- Behind the Canes goal line. Again. Good god.
- 5 left in the second. Canes start 4-3. Rust comes out of the Box aaaaaaand denied by Lack with the blocker on the breakaway.
- Canes just get set up on the PP with 15 seconds left. Cleared immediately. It wasn’t. Shot straight out. But goes unseen. Back to even strength. Canes go offside.
- Sid on one knee (he loves that) re-directs a perfectly placed slap pass from Cole over the blocker of Lack. Happened quick. Sid did a great job of getting open. Cole did a better job of finding him. Pens up 3-2.
- Hagelin, definitely did not spell that right before, goes off for embellishing. Canes go off with a trip. Back to 4 on 4 we go. 1:46 left.
- Hanifin takes a penalty with 7 seconds left in the 2nd.
Second period comes to a close. Pens start 4 on 3. And I think, I think they’re up 3-2. 20 minutes away from #NOEDM.
Squire needed starbucks. Missed the first 2 minutes. Pens are still up 3-2. All is okay. Just gotta get through this period and walk away with not having to go to #EDM.
- Pens playing much safer and slower here. I’ll take it. Not much happening.
- Matta has a shot form the point bounce around and almost go in. Pens putting on pressure here. Sid losses the puck by the blue line and out come the Canes.
- I am now nervous of Rust being below the Canes goal line. Penalty problems are real.
- Apparently Rust is like a burrowing animal? Thanks?
- More Pens pressure. Dumoulin takes two shots before the second gets through. Lack swallows it up……like a burrowing animal? #hiremerootsports. 13 left in the third.
- Pens still keeping the pace of this game to a minimum. Staal seems to be the only Cane that can really press the puck.
- Pens turnover in the Offensive zone. 2 on 0 below the hashmarks..again. Daley dove back and jumped on the pass across like a…..yup….burrowing animal. Canes go to the PP on a Hagelin hook.
- Rask with a rocket from the point. No traffic in front for the Canes. Miller tracks it well and holds on with the glove.
- Quick pass out of the corner to a streaking Nash on the far side. Nash flubbs it and puts it back across Murray. Canes take a penalty immediately after. 4 on 4.
- Letang is fancy.
- 3 on 1 for the Canes. Skinner delayed and tried to cut to the middle in the offensive zones. Sid back checks well enough to congest the play and Skinner faces too much pressure to get a shot off.
- Phil’s arms aren’t long enough to accept a perfect pass from the Pens defense. He chases it down and puts a shot on net from behind the goal line. Rebound is put out of play by Bonino. Pens on the PP now.
- Canes kill the Pens pp easily. 9:40 left even strength. Hand pass in the neutral zone. Commercial break.
- Phill and Hagelin cycle it well and put on some pressure.
- Murray once again looks very much in the zone. Two quick back to back saves. Holds onto the second.
- Couple of quick stoppages in play. 7:11 left. Not much happening.
- Hagelin just won a race in the offensive zone. slammed on the breaks and was all alone in front of Lack with no where to go. They just looked at eachother and Hagelin went backhand and it was tipped away but a Canes defensement struggling to get back.
- Bonino streaks in the far side. Phil had the puck below the dot and Lack had to challenge. Even Phil can put it away with that much time. Phil passed, Lack bit, and Bonino tapped it in the open net.
- Daley goes off for holding. 6 minutes left. Pens up 4-2.
- Scrum in front of the Pens net. Ref has his harm up. Staal falls on Murray and goes off for goalie interference. 4 on 4 again.
- Back to back solid saves by Lack and Murray. Canes cycling down low in Pittsburgh zone.
- Sid breaks out of the zone and gets a pass from the Pens defensemen. He took a half clapper from about the the hashmarks, just to the left of the face off dot. Lack played it very well. Was out to challenge. Made the save and held on. No hatty for Sid.
- Canes buzzing but cant get the puck on net. Pens look content to burn this one out.
- Pens PP is over with 3:45 left. Penalty coming up on Hornqvist because why not? Can’t make it easy. Tripping penalty. ON the Canes goal line this time. The penalties are becoming more and more defensive by the second.
- Canes cycle. put it on net. Doesn’t get through and the Pens clear. Canes can’t gain the offensive zone. 1:10 left in the PP and 2:30 left in the third.
- Canes cycle it around, Hard shot from the point, steered aside by Murray. Another shot from the point, doesn’t get through. Another shot, doesn’t get through.
- 30 seconds left. It’s all but over. NO EDM! THANK GOODNESS!
Tomorrow sees both Squire and I staring agony in the face. The punishments for the first week of our Mortal Lock picks has been set. I am afraid dear reader, very afraid.
Squire had to be a big man and took Zaga earlier in the week. At the time Squire didn’t know who Zaga would be playing. Squire was bold enough to take them on the spread. Tomorrow Gonzaga takes on Seaton Hall. If Zaga can’t cover the spread Squire will be heading off to a C list comedy act on Sunday night all by his lonesome. Squire is a pretty sulen and quite man. He doesn’t enjoy crowds or company. The idea he might have to attend this hour and a half event in a theatre full of people just warms my normally cold heart. Oh, and he’ll have to blog about it. So we might all be winners here.
I wasn’t quite as brave. I took the Penguins over the Hurricanes tomorrow night. No spread. No Lines. Just the Pens getting the W. The Hurricanes have been showing signs of life lately and Pittsburgh is without Malkin. Nothing is certain here. I’ll be live blogging the game tomorrow night. That should be interesting. If the Pens lose, Squire has decided I will be attending some sort of EDM Rap Battle at a local night club next week. I will be going alone. The nightclub draws huge numbers from the undergraduate programs in our town. I also don’t like crowds or a lot of people. Also, generally not a fan of EDM, at all. I will also have to blog about my experience. I think I’d rather eat a bowl of salt.
Gritty fucked the whole thing up. It was like trying to watch your parents play Call of Duty. It was almost impressive. Squire and I think he should have to pick another game that takes place before Sunday or just suffer a punishment for his actions. If anyone wants to weigh in on this, or what Gritty’s punishment should be, please, let us know. Or you can just tweet him. Call him a coward. Or a fool. Either one works.
Pray for Salt. Pray for no EDM. Pray for no rap battles. Lord knows I need it.
The Mortal Lock. And so it begins. Fuck me.
Starting this Sunday, March 13th, the team at HardNoSports will begin the tradition of picking individual ‘Mortal Lock’ picks of the week. This means Squire, Gritty, and myself will be locked into, and writing about, picking one game each week. If we are wrong there will be consequences. The Rules are pretty simple:
- By Sunday night every week Squire, Gritty, and myself must have declared our Mortal Locks for the week;
- By Sunday night, by committee, the @HardNo team must select a punishment which must be carried out and blogged about by each member in the event they are wrong; and
- Before each Mortal Lock game takes place we must write about why we chose that game and that team.
That’s it. Seems simple. Seems fair. It won’t be. I promise.
First, Gritty is a sports guru. He lives for this stuff. The guy has spread sheets of players in the CFL (the ‘Canadian Football League’) who played in the NFL. Why? So when Squire tees off about the CFL being a shit league he can pull out a spread sheet and politely ask Squire to choke on it.
Squire is a seasoned basketball and football fanatic. He calls out offensive formations in pubs, by himself, repeatedly. He traveled across state lines to attend March Madness last year.
Me? I just played sports. And not very well if we’re being honest. Lord knows I can’t pick em’ either. For example, this week I took a stab at writing about the Caps and Kings game.I predicted the Caps would win. By the end of the first period they were losing 3-0 and had a total of 6 shots on net. They lost.
Squire has been kind enough to tell me if the Caps and Kings game had been my Mortal Lock I would have been attending a CrossFit class this weekend. Next, I would have been writing about attending a CrossFit class this weekend. Wrong, on so many levels. Which, because I pick sports like the Oilers select draft picks, I will end up doing and writing about. Thus the ‘Fuck me’ at the beginning.
If you have any cruel events or ideas I can put Squire through, in the event he’s wrong, please feel free to share them. There can be no mercy in such dark times. And the internet can be a merciless place.