Gritty’s Mortal Lock of the Week — Week 1 (Redo)

Apparently I misunderstood the purpose of the mortal lock and the lock was not as mortal as I expected. As as a result, I am redoing my mortal lock of the week. Because I watch TV like a 60 year old man and don’t have Netflix, figuring out my punishment  has been hard. I still don’t think we have a punishment for me.

Nevertheless, it won’t matter because this is a mortal lock.

It’s March Madness time. We have to lock in some hoops picks.

This has been an upset crazy first couple of days of madness. Even the great Tom Izzo’s Michagan State Spartans were upset by a lowly 15 seed. With that in mind, I still want to look towards a proven coach and a team on the ascension.

I’m going with John Calipari and the good ol’ Kentucky Wildcats. This isn’t a Wildcats team from recent memory. They are not filled with one and done players. They do have a one and done guy though. Jamal Murray (CANADIAN) is one of the country’s best pure scorers who forms a dynamic backcourt with tiny guard Tyler Ulis.

They also have a real presence on the interior based on the game I watched them play against Stony Brook in the first round. The announcers told me that this team started out their season slow and are hitting their stride at the perfect time of the year. That’s all I need to hear.

I’ve got Kentucky and their giving 3.5 points to Indiana.

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Gonzaga is dancing again, and that’s a good thing

 

imageGonzaga, punched their ticket to the dance for the 18th straight year and that is a good thing. I can’t say exactly, why, but I have always been a huge Gonzaga fan. Perhaps, I just like a good underdog, or the number of Canadians they have had, but no it is more than that. It’s the fact that they were the little guy, they got their taste of the big time and instead of saying we had a nice run, or looking for greener pastures, they decided to stay there among the elites and that is exactly what they have done, made their own program the big time. And that is something I admire. I would have hated to see their consecutive streak that ranks them among the Dukes and Michigan states ended by some bullshit RPI ranking, but once again they did the right thing and took matters into their own hands.

Sidenote: I knew there (Editor’s Note: The wrong use of “their” was used previously by Squire. Gritty couldn’t stand for it) was know way Mark Few was letting them lose this game and that’s why I bet the Zags, moving the HardNo House to 1 and 0. Go me! And go Zags!

yes Gus, the Slipper Still Fits, and it’s not going to stop fitting.

 

The Gambling Account.

So Salt and I opened our first official gambling account today. Sure we have placed plenty of bets in our lives, who doesn’t like to watch a game with a little action on it, but we have never had the ability to just go and place a bet, on a moments whim. The bets have always just been among friends, or I have had to get a friends to place the action for me. No longer will there be any barriers to placing bets, as we now have an account at an undisclosed location. Now when I can’t sleep on a random weeknight I can place a bet on a random West Coast Conference basketball game and sweat out the under all night (Who Am I kidding, always bet the over in the WCC, that league doesn’t know defence). #Blessed

Also he doesn’t realize it yet, but it is only a matter of time until Salt is placing bets on random hockey games in the  Belarus Extraliga, while watching the games on some shitty internet stream, and I will take the under on 2 weeks before he is betting on the KHL, guy loves himself some commy hockey.

Rules of the Account

So there are a few rules to the account…

  1. We have started with $100 (yes we are ballin like that)
  2. We can each place any bets under $5 up to a maximum  of $20 total in a day that we want, without any rules or permission from the other.
  3. To place a bet over $5, or to bet over $20 for any given day we need to have the permission of the other
  4. No personal savings may be used to replenish the account.
  5. So if (let’s be real, when) our account goes to zero we will have to come up with way to replenish the account, and it can’t be from our personal savings, regular income or lines of credit. This means we will have to find odd jobs, or things to sell (i.e. collecting pop cans). On an unrelated note anybody need a bartender for an event? Asking for a friend
  6. No money can be taken out of the account for a year, at the end of the year we will decide new rules for the account

The other thing about the start of this account, is it almost perfect coincides with the start of March Madness. There is nothing I love more than March Madness and I can almost guarantee you I will be begging Salt to let me increase my limit so I can hit the late games on the first day. There is also a pretty good chance I am going to have to take a vacation from my real job after the first weekend so I can scrounge up enough money to play the second weekend.

So if you have any hot tips please hit us up on twitter @HardNoSalt and @HardNoSquire! We love hot tips,and are almost guaranteed to place some action on any tips we get! #GetThatPaper

EDIT: I just found out that you can bet on esports. There is no chance that Salt isn’t betting on esports by the end of this week. Our TV is going to be constantly streaming warcraft tournaments or some shit like that FML. Dweebs playing games is not a sport nor entertainment, and even as someone who advocates being able to bet on almost anything I am against this. Again FUCK MY LIFE and FUCK ESPORTS TOO