Hey kids don’t grow up, no really don’t grow up

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I started this post when I was at work one day, while I was supposed to be at a golf tournament. So it comes from a place of bitterness I will admit. And I am just getting around to finishing it now, because…well life sucks.

I am currently sitting in my office, when I am supposed to be playing a golf tournament, enjoying the almost perfect weather and probably being a beer or two too deep. But instead I am stuck in my windowless office working away. To make the matters worst the rest of the office (that isn’t out on summer vacation) is drinking.

See, 27 is coming up fast for me and I have realized that I have made a big mistake, I didn’t ‘waste’ any years of my 20’s. Nope like a sucker I did all those things I was supposed to do and where did that get me? A quick ticket to the hamster wheel, that’s where.

I went to university and picked up a degree in four years, and a second one in another three for good measure, all the while working and doing all those extra curricular things you are supposed to do that look good on resumes and “get you ahead”. And don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun going it, I always found time for Thirsty Thursday’s, Sunday Fundays and every party in between.

But I never took time off to travel for a year or “find myself”. I wanted to get on the fasflane to success and stay there.

To make matters worse, I have pretty much got there too. Sure I could be making a little more money, have a little more power etc., but for the most part I have accomplished to date what I set out to do. I even like what I do for my job for the most part. The problemis, I am stuck doing it for the next 30 years, it comes with responsibilities, that I can’t just walk away from. As does my house, my mortgage and everything else.

By by the the time I was 25, I was pretty much married to the rest of my life. I have spent the last two years realizing that I have made commitments in life that have made it almost impossible for me to “get away”, unless I want to get labelled as the crazy guy who burned out and ended up at a surf lodge in Nicaragua. And that may still happen, one day I may just give it all up and be hanging loose on a beach in Nicuragua.

Until then, I have the Pats game tomorrow to look forward to tomorrow, and the rest of the football season to hopefully get me through the fall. And then I will have golf seasons to look forward to (if I can even get out of the office).

But to all you guys and girls in your early 20’s or younger, I say don’t be in too much of rush, enjoy the lack off responsibility while you have it.

-Squire

 

 

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Did Donald Trump just have his best tweet ever?

This tweet from Donal Trump is just peak Trump! It manages to perfectly capture his arrogance, his vanity and his racism all in one tweet.

It’s Cinco De Mayo, he has to tweet about it and he has to remind people that he is NOT a racist! So naturally he finishes with I love Hispanics, boom golden!

And obviously the best taco bowls (pretty sure that is not a traditional dish) are made by something with the Trump name on it!

Please try and find me a better tweet from the Donald, you can’t.

@HardNoSquire

Question of the Day: How much was this basketball player paid to fix this game in the Greek league?

How much was this player paid to fix the game?

Former Arizona State player Jermaine Marshall tied up this quarterfinal Greek league game by scoring on his own basket, as time expired.

Seriously!? Sure mental lapses happen, but it is the end of the game, a playoff game too boot. You suddenly forgot which basket was yours as time expired? No, the explanation I can come up with is Jermaine suddenly realized he was about to have a couple broken knee caps and the only thing he could do is take matters into his own hands. Jermaine’s team Kifisia lost in overtime, 108-103, no shit, no way they were coming back from that.

Though from what I have seen from Greek league basketball fans, I am not sure he was any safer…

Live Blog – Mortal Lock Week 1 – Pens & Canes

Today is the day that will answer the question: will I be going to to an EDM/Rap Battle concert next week. Fuck.

Pens are starting Murray. Let’s take that as a sign of confidence. Kid has been really solid in his 6 previous starts. No need to play like a rookie tonight.

I have a grown up things to do at 3:30 so I might be a touch late getting home to start. Let’s hope we have some fun, shall we.

Summary

Well that does it. Lack makes a nice save with 3 seconds left but the game is over. Sid scored twice. I think Phil had some points. Murray shut the door after the 2 early goals.  That was huge. Pittsburgh needs to look at that defense if they want to do anything in the playoffs, assuming they get there. Also please stop taking penalties below the opponents goal line.

Pens win their 4th. I don’t go to EDM/Rap Battle concert. And I won money for the house. It’s a good night. Now we just need a Zaga loss to send Squire to his punishment, and were all set.

First Period.

  • Just got home.  6 Minutes left in the first. Sid scored. Score is 2-1. Fuck.
  • US Open trophy getting some TV time. Bad sign. Let’s not talk golf right now. Thanks.
  • 2 on 0. Sure why not. Thanks for the save Murray. Closed the 7 hole quick. Good god.
  • If Lack can keep bobbling rebounds like they’re hot potatoes that would be great. Also, how many times does Phil have to miss?
  • Cullen is fancy.
  • 2:09 left in the First and Rust takes a boarding call behind the Canes goal line. Right call on the play. Poor play by Rust.
  • 1:04 left in on the PK for the pens. PK looks good. Keep the lanes closed and puck to the outside. Couple of nice passes left a Cane player open to snap a hard shot on Murray. Good save.
  • One of the Golden Rules of hockey: No goals allowed in the final minute of a frame. Pens are 1:05 from getting out of this one.
  • 15 Seconds out. Puck is dumped in and quickly out by Letang. Pens escape the PK unharmed.
  • Penguins out shoot the Canes 22-14 but remain down 2-1. Fuck. Me. 40 miles left though. Here’s hoping.

Missed most of the first obviously. But the Pens out shooting the Canes 22-14 is a good sign. Lack can slow down. Very unlikely Pens stay on pace and put 66ish shots on net. Going to have a find a way through Lack and buckle down on the back end. Have a feeling Pens ran into a hot goalie tonight. Not good.

Second Period.

People bowling on the ice is strange to me.

  • Pens win opening face-off and are offside 9 seconds later.
  • Matta with a dump in on Lack holds for the face-off. Goalies must hate that play in the show this year.
  • Solid save by Murray. Canes looked dangerous coming into the zone on that rush. please stawp.
  • Sid is good at face-offs.
  • Sid is good at sprawling around on the ice taking away the pass on a 2-1. There’s practically 2 periods left. No need to pinch that hard yet.
  • Murray looks to be tracking the puck well tonight. Easily handled a shot from the point and put it into the corner.
  • Phil losses a race to the puck in an offensive zone. Canes clear. The sky is blue.
  • Sherri almost feathered a pass through to Fehr. No luck. Puck goes wide. Pens pressing now. Lack standing tall.
  • Pens keep the pressure up. Canes forced to ice. The commentating crew is immersed in the fact the puck bounced off the dasher and went into the air. Let’s see how many times it comes up tonight.
  • Pens seem happy to leavea a man alone in front of their net on every Carolina rush tonight. Oh look. There was just three of them and only Letang in front. This is an unsettling theme. Puck cleared. Somehow.
  • Three Canes 2 Pens. Pens back check forces Skinner to take a bad angled shot from the outside. Murray handles it easily.
  • Pens pressure again. Lack handles it well. Rebound in the slot wasn’t found by Pens.
  • 12:30 left and we are headed for a commercial.
  • Murray flashes the leather and finds a piece of candy. Kid is making saves to keep the Pens in this.
  • Canes are cycling well here. 2 shifts in a row. Pens are out momentarily but generate nothing dangerous.
  • Pens are line juggling. Always a good sign.
  • 9:45 left and Pens still losing.
  • We’re back. Puck has been outside the dots a lot tonight. Nothing dangerous happening.
  • Murray stops the wrap around and stays square to the puck to swallow up the rebound.

GOAL

  • Phil can thank the Hockey Gods for this one. Great break out pass to Cole.  Cole entered the zone, delayed and cut to the middle. He went for the shot in the middle of the slot, Cane defensemen got a stick on it, Haiglin was there to kick the arrant puck over to a streaking Phil. Phil managed to put it in the net. Lack was on the other side of the net still. Pens tie it up 2-2. #NOEDM.
  • Murray makes another nice save.
  • Stall and Rust are mad at each other. I think that’s about all that’s going to happen. Rust kept the gloves on. A lot of words not so many fists. Both go for 2. Pens commentators are calling for a spear. It’s more of an upwards slash. A lot of swooping motion in that stick. Refs got the 2 minutes right.
  • 4 on 4 now. Pens should have the advantage here. Sure enough Canes are cycling at will in the Pittsburgh zone.
  • Phil all alone in the slot aaaaand misses the net.
  • Pens are keeping up the pressure here. Pens take another penalty in the offensive zone. This is good.
  • Behind the Canes goal line. Again. Good god.
  • 5 left in the second. Canes start 4-3. Rust comes out of the Box aaaaaaand denied by Lack with the blocker on the breakaway.
  • Canes just get set up on the PP with 15 seconds left. Cleared immediately. It wasn’t. Shot straight out. But goes unseen. Back to even strength. Canes go offside.

GOAL

  • Sid on one knee (he loves that) re-directs a perfectly placed slap pass from Cole over the blocker of Lack. Happened quick. Sid did a great job of getting open. Cole did a better job of finding him. Pens up 3-2.
  • Hagelin, definitely did not spell that right before, goes off for embellishing. Canes go off with a trip. Back to 4 on 4 we go. 1:46 left.
  • Hanifin takes a penalty with 7 seconds left in the 2nd.

Second period comes to a close. Pens start 4 on 3. And I think, I think they’re up 3-2. 20 minutes away from #NOEDM.

Third Period.

Squire needed starbucks. Missed the first 2 minutes. Pens are still up 3-2. All is okay. Just gotta get through this period and walk away with not having to go to #EDM.

  • Pens playing much safer and slower here. I’ll take it. Not much happening.
  • Matta has a shot form the point bounce around and almost go in. Pens putting on pressure here. Sid losses the puck by the blue line and out come the Canes.
  • I am now nervous of Rust being below the Canes goal line. Penalty problems are real.
  • Apparently Rust is like a burrowing animal? Thanks?
  • More Pens pressure. Dumoulin takes two shots before the second gets through. Lack swallows it up……like a burrowing animal? #hiremerootsports.  13 left in the third.
  • Pens still keeping the pace of this game to a minimum. Staal seems to be the only Cane that can really press the puck.
  • Pens turnover in the Offensive zone. 2 on 0 below the hashmarks..again. Daley dove back and jumped on the pass across like a…..yup….burrowing animal. Canes go to the PP on a Hagelin hook.
  • Rask with a rocket from the point. No traffic in front for the Canes. Miller tracks it well and holds on with the glove.
  • Quick pass out of the corner to a streaking Nash on the far side. Nash flubbs it and puts it back across Murray. Canes take a penalty immediately after. 4 on 4.
  • Letang is fancy.
  • 3 on 1 for the Canes. Skinner delayed and tried to cut to the middle in the offensive zones. Sid back checks well enough to congest the play and Skinner faces too much pressure to get a shot off.
  • Phil’s arms aren’t long enough to accept a perfect pass from the Pens defense. He chases it down and puts a shot on net from behind the goal line. Rebound is put out of play by Bonino. Pens on the PP now.
  • Canes kill the Pens pp easily. 9:40 left even strength. Hand pass in the neutral zone. Commercial break.
  • Phill and Hagelin cycle it well and put on some pressure.
  • Murray once again looks very much in the zone. Two quick back to back saves. Holds onto the second.
  • Couple of quick stoppages in play. 7:11 left. Not much happening.
  • Hagelin just won a race in the offensive zone. slammed on the breaks and was all alone in front of Lack with no where to go. They just looked at eachother and Hagelin went backhand and it was tipped away but a Canes defensement struggling to get back.

GOAL

  • Bonino streaks in the far side. Phil had the puck below the dot and Lack had to challenge. Even Phil can put it away with that much time. Phil passed, Lack bit, and Bonino tapped it in the open net.
  • Daley goes off for holding. 6 minutes left. Pens up 4-2.
  • Scrum in front of the Pens net. Ref has his harm up. Staal falls on Murray and goes off for goalie interference. 4 on 4 again.
  • Back to back solid saves by Lack and Murray. Canes cycling down low in Pittsburgh zone.
  • Sid breaks out of the zone and gets a pass from the Pens defensemen.  He took a half clapper from about the the hashmarks, just to the left of the face off dot. Lack played it very well. Was out to challenge. Made the save and held on. No hatty for Sid.
  • Canes buzzing but cant get the puck on net. Pens look content to burn this one out.
  • Pens PP is over with 3:45 left. Penalty coming up on Hornqvist because why not? Can’t make it easy. Tripping penalty. ON the Canes goal line this time. The penalties are becoming more and more defensive by the second.
  • Canes cycle. put it on net. Doesn’t get through and the Pens clear. Canes can’t gain the offensive zone. 1:10 left in the PP and 2:30 left in the third.
  • Canes cycle it around, Hard shot from the point, steered aside by Murray. Another shot from the point, doesn’t get through. Another shot, doesn’t get through.
  • 30 seconds left. It’s all but over. NO EDM! THANK GOODNESS!

 

Question of the Day: Who is the Worst District Attorney, Kratz or Nifong?

Who is the worst, District Attorney, Ken Kratz or Mike Nifong?

A couple months a go, the Netflix show, Making a Murderer shocked America with how wrong the justice system can seem to go. Then just a few days ago the ESPN 30 for 30, Fantastic Lies, on the Duke lacrosse scandal came out, and once again America was horrified by how how far awry the justice system can go. What did these two shows have in common? Among other things repulsive District Attorneys who made our skin crawl.

Ken Kratz

Kratz was the District Attorney in Steven Avery’s case, in Making a Murderer.

As egregious as Kratz’s actions in the Avery case, may have been, it was probably the rail roading of Avery’s nephew Brendan Dassey that was was even more disturbing. We may not know if Steven Avery is guilty or not, but one thing that was clear was the events as confessed to by Dassey simply did not occur. It was absolutely heartbreaking to first watch a confession be coerced out of someone intellectually unable to defend themselves, and then to watch Kratz run this false confession all the way to a conviction.

Kratz is also a huge creep, as was evidenced by the sexting scandal, which cost him his District Attorney job in 2010. Where he was found to be sexting domestic violence victims, in the cases he was prosecuting.

I have a $350,000 house, has to be one of the worst lines ever… Also if you aren’t convinced he is a creep check out this interview he did after Making a Murderer.

Mike Nifong

Nifong was the District Attorney in the Duke lacrosse case. At the time the Duke lacrosse rape allegations came around he was badly behind in the polls for his reelection as District Attorney. Then along came the Duke lacrosse accuser and he jumped on the case and in front of every news camera he could, to the tune of 5o to 70 interviews in the first week. Nifong made outlandish, untrue and inflammatory statements, in these interviews which set the narrative for the case.

Nifong then proceeded to never actually interview the accuser, allow the use of photo lineups with only Duke lacrosse team members in them (the players were in a game of Russian roulette they never knew about), and ignored and withheld exculpatory DNA and circumstantial evidence. But he did manage to get himself re-elected. Ruining the lives of a few young men, in the process seemed to be just fine with him.

In the end, Nifong was found to have conspired with the director of the DNA lab to have withheld exculpatory DNA evidence from the report to the defence team. The case was thrown out, Nifong was sentenced to a day in jail and disbarred.

Conclusion

They are both awful human beings who should not have been in the positions they were in, but I am actually going to lean Kratz on this one only because somehow he is still a practing lawyer. If you need an immigration lawyer in Wisconsin give him a call. Even worse, Kratz actually isn’t embarrassed enough to just try and disappear, the guy is still giving interviews.

Two other questions I was left with were:

  1. How does America still think it is a good idea to elect judges and district attorney’s?
  2. When was it that innocent before proven guilty died?

 

The. Whole. 30.

Miss Vickies Look at that beautiful incarnation. I can taste the chips just by looking at them. I can feel the way they would crunch so loud I could annoy people trying to watch T.V. I miss it. The salt. The vinegar.  All of it.

‘But Salt, they’re just chips. What the fuck are you on about? Go buy some and shut up.’

I would love to reader. I really, really would. Unfortunately I cannot because I’m an idiot.

A word to the wise. If you have a roommate, or a friend (although no true friend would ever suggest such a sick form of torture), or you’re one of those guys who does whatever his girlfriend says, if they suggest doing the ‘Whole 30’, don’t. No matter the cost. Blowjobs aren’t worth 30 days of suffering.

As we now know, Squire is just getting started in the land of the corporate fat-cat. Over the last couple of years he has done his best to embrace the word ‘fat’. I think it’s fair to say the only thing that has grown faster than his bank account is his beer gut. This beer gut has apparently become a burden we both must carry. Why? Because I am a good friend.

When Squire suggested we do the ‘Whole 30’ so we could get in shape I thought ‘Good on Squire, he’s recognized a problem and is doing something about it’. I thought it would be nice to do it with him. To support him. To be a good friend. It’s only 30 days it can’t be that hard. Wrong. Very Wrong.

The ‘Whole 30’ brands itself as a program of ‘tough love’. That’s like calling Donald Trump ‘honest’. Here are the rules for the Whole 30:

  1. Do not consume added sugar of any kind, real or artificial…..Go ahead. Think about what that excludes.
  2. Do not consume alcohol in any form, not even for cooking…..Sober March Madness is not best March Madness.
  3. Do not eat grains…..quinoa? Nope.
  4. Do not eat legumes…..I’m 28, I had no idea what legumes were. I thought beans would be a life saver throughout this thing. Nope.
  5. Do not eat dairy….bye bye yogurt.
  6. Do not consume carrageenan, MSG or sulfites……this one is obvious and pretty easy.
  7. Do not try re-created baked goods, junk foods, or treats with “approved” ingredients…..good bye Miss Vickies, you wonderful, magnificent delicious chip.
  8. You are not allowed to step on the scale or take any body measurements for the duration of the program……. I did. I’m about 5’8 and before this I was in pretty decent shape. Far from anything anyone could wash clothes on but I worked out 5 times week. Why? So I could eat shit like Miss Vickies and have some Jack Daniels and still look decent. I lost 5 pounds in 8 days.

At this point, I don’t know what day we’re on. It doesn’t matter anymore. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Only darkness.

I eat eggs, steak, salad, and homemade burgers. Smoothies consist of bananas, almonds, frozen fruit, ice and almond milk. The worst part is the cravings. You go through a phase where you can taste things. I was walking around on a Tuesday and I could swear I had a rum and coke in my mouth. It was kind of amazing but also awful. I’m all for being in shape. I’m all for eating healthy. But good fucking god. There’s no reason to go from learning how to walk  one day to lining up against Von Miller in the next. It’s violent, bloody torture.

And I can’t quit. I would never hear the end of it from Squire. Which would be absolutely worse than however many days are left.

So here’s to you Squire and your ever shrinking belly. I hope it’s worth all this. You fuck.

Love Salt.

Who we are…

Squire@HardNoSquire

You can call me Squire. I am 26 years and stuck between two worlds. From 9-5 I exist in the grown up corporate world. However, I can’t quite seem to let go of the care free and responsibility free life of an early 2o’s male that I used to know. Sports are my outlet and escape from this conflict. I also love making a buck anyway I can, so am always chasing my next dollar. Oh and did I mention I have an addictive personality and just opened a sports betting account…

I live with Salt, and am technically his landlord, hence the name Squire. Salt is one my best friends and we decided to start this blog to entertain ourselves, if no one else. It will have our thoughts on sports, current events and tidbits from our daily lives.

mortonsaltumbrellagirl@HardNoSalt

After many years of higher education Salt is currently trying to find a real ‘grown up’ job. This is stressing him out.  He currently watches movies, watches sports, plays video games, lifts heavy things and puts them back down, and applies for jobs. Oh, and he studies. He really doesn’t know how good he has it.

Salt gets his name because of his tendency to look for the negative in everything. Despite this, he can still be one of the most fun humans I know. This conflict between negativity and desire for fun leads to an endless river of  sarcasm flowing from Salt’s mouth.  If there is going to be any artistic side to this blog, it will definitely be coming from Salt (he moonlights as a rockstar, a film critic, and music critic…..it never stops) and you can also count on him for a few conspiracy theories…

Krang@hardnogritty1

We asked Gritty to join us on this fun little project of ours since he is the biggest sports fanatic we know. He also happens to be one of the smartest guys we know. Lord knows we could use some brains around here.

Gritty is also, honestly the nicest guy I have ever met and you have to wonder what he is doing around a place like HardNoSports. He will probably be mortified by 95% of the posts we make. Gritty will provide the actual sports opinions and analysis for HardNo, while claiming the league they try and call football, the CFL, is great.

That’s it. That is our team and this is the beginning of HardNoSports. At this point you know as much about the next post as we do……not a thing.