The Mortal Lock. And so it begins. Fuck me.
Starting this Sunday, March 13th, the team at HardNoSports will begin the tradition of picking individual ‘Mortal Lock’ picks of the week. This means Squire, Gritty, and myself will be locked into, and writing about, picking one game each week. If we are wrong there will be consequences. The Rules are pretty simple:
- By Sunday night every week Squire, Gritty, and myself must have declared our Mortal Locks for the week;
- By Sunday night, by committee, the @HardNo team must select a punishment which must be carried out and blogged about by each member in the event they are wrong; and
- Before each Mortal Lock game takes place we must write about why we chose that game and that team.
That’s it. Seems simple. Seems fair. It won’t be. I promise.
First, Gritty is a sports guru. He lives for this stuff. The guy has spread sheets of players in the CFL (the ‘Canadian Football League’) who played in the NFL. Why? So when Squire tees off about the CFL being a shit league he can pull out a spread sheet and politely ask Squire to choke on it.
Squire is a seasoned basketball and football fanatic. He calls out offensive formations in pubs, by himself, repeatedly. He traveled across state lines to attend March Madness last year.
Me? I just played sports. And not very well if we’re being honest. Lord knows I can’t pick em’ either. For example, this week I took a stab at writing about the Caps and Kings game.I predicted the Caps would win. By the end of the first period they were losing 3-0 and had a total of 6 shots on net. They lost.
Squire has been kind enough to tell me if the Caps and Kings game had been my Mortal Lock I would have been attending a CrossFit class this weekend. Next, I would have been writing about attending a CrossFit class this weekend. Wrong, on so many levels. Which, because I pick sports like the Oilers select draft picks, I will end up doing and writing about. Thus the ‘Fuck me’ at the beginning.
If you have any cruel events or ideas I can put Squire through, in the event he’s wrong, please feel free to share them. There can be no mercy in such dark times. And the internet can be a merciless place.